The Road…err I mean Rollercoaster…of Pregnancy

Pregnancy, it’s the miracle of life. A time in your life to really feel connected to your body and enlivened and — Okay stop right there.

Many women feel this way and that is WONDERFUL. But for all of ya’ll who are wondering why you somehow missed the boat on this — read on. Here is how I felt about pregnancy in each trimester. You will most likely feel different and also some of the same.

The Beginning

My husband and I decided to get pregnant, This was really exciting and terrifying all at the same time. One month we tried. Nothing happened. But we were 29!? We had spent our whole lives trying NOT to get pregnant how did no one tell us that it doesn’t just work the second you let the goalie off from work?!

Truth: It can take a totally healthy and fertile couple up to a year to conceive and that is totally normal.

Fact: That didn’t make us feel better. We wanted to win and weren’t winning. This made us mad.

Truth: Once you get pregnant this period will feel like it was only a couple of weeks even though when you’re in it it feels immensely frustrating and like shit is taking forever. People will tell you this. It won’t matter to you and then you’ll eventually get it.

5 months later…

OMG we’re pregnant!

Fuck.

What did we do?

1st Trimester

I feel like I’m hungover on a boat all day and that every 5 min I’ve been hit by a giant semi and all I want to do is sleep. Sometimes I can’t even help it. I just sleep. My husband asks me why I’m napping. I want to throw a pizza box at him. Oh yea, I ate A LOT of pizza.

We’re not telling anyone yet and this is driving me bananas. I become a hermit because if I go out I’ll inevitably seem rude because I’m secretly trying to hold in all my nausea and there is a strong chance I will fall asleep in my food.

The smell of hamburgers makes me want to throw up. But I love hamburgers! Will I ever love hamburgers again?! (spoiler alert: I do)

A woman in yoga class tells me “don’t worry once the second trimester kicks in you’ll feel like yourself again!” I think she’s crazy.

We tell people. This makes me happy.

2nd Trimester

An alien from another planet has clearly come and taken over my body. All rationality I once had has been thrown out the window. I must say this is quite fun at times. Its very liberating to say whatever you’re feeling in the moment and not give a f**k. Until you’re breaking down and sobbing and you don’t know why (see: alien from another planet). My husband thankfully finds humor in this but I think also secretly wonders and hopes if his super chill wife is coming back any time soon.

Around week 16 the nausea starts to subside, I think of salads and vegetables as worthwhile food again and I’m still a little crazy.

Week 20 we find out the gender. This changes EVERYTHING for me. I knew it was a boy and I was right. This makes me feel like maybe I can do this after all and I’m back to thinking this was all a really great idea again.

2 weeks later nothing fits and I’m wondering again why we thought this was a good idea. I remind myself of week 20 and I feel happy again.

Around week 25 I’m actually beginning to feel like a normal human. The lady from yoga was right! I still cry a lot easier but I’m definitely a bit more put together. This is also around when I can really start feeling him moving around. I love this and look forward to when I feel the flutters. This is getting real and I’m super into it now.

3rd Trimester

I have a few important realizations:

1. Now that I’m showing I’m getting a lot of preferential treatment places. I should really take advantage of this while it lasts.
2. I haven’t had to worry about my weight or what I eat for several months. One day I’m going to care again. I should really enjoy this more too.
3. In 2 1/2 months there is going to be another living, breathing human in our lives that we need to take care of. I should really enjoy what time is left and this whole pregnancy thing while it still lasts. I will never be pregnant with my first child again after this.

And that brings me to week 31. Which is where I am now. I’ll keep you updated on the rest of this journey as it happens but in the meantime if you currently aren’t enjoying your pregnancy let me leave you with this inspiring story:

My husband Willie said to me at one point “If we have a son you can’t be that weird mom who walks in on him in the shower. You know if he’s anything like me he’s going to be masturbating by age 9.”

And that’s when it hit me — OMG my baby in ten years is going to be masturbating. I should really enjoy these moments of peace and innocence now.

Told you you’d be inspired.