How to Have a Magical Birth (Okay, well a few things that can at least help get you there)

Birth is NO JOKE. It ain’t going to be painless and chances are it’s not going to go as expected. It’s the ultimate test in being able to “roll with it”. The more you can do that the better it’ll go. HOWEVER you are not powerless. You can set yourself up for success with a few different things. I’m not going to bore you with my birth story (though I’m happy to share) but there are a few things I did pre-birth that I truly believe led me to having the best birth experience I could have asked for. Note: things DID NOT go to plan but it didn’t matter. The foundation was laid so that I was in the best of hands all around.*

1. Find A Doula. A doula is meant to be your advocate and should be incredibly knowledgable about the entire birthing experience but not so set in her ways that she doesn’t respect your wishes. We used Patti Quintero of UMA Mother and she became like part of the family in the process. Willie and I took her Journey to Birth class when I was at about 8 weeks and in that class alone we were able to pretty much figure out our birth plan. She helped keep me calm, flexible and fierce throughout my whole pregnancy. When it came time for the birth she got in the room and immediately got the nurses to make me mobile, got me in the shower, had me doing squats (yes, squats!) and took me from 2cm to 7cm in under an hour. I had been induced (NOT EXPECTED!) and I know if she hadn’t been there I would have been laying in that bed for hours longer than I was. She also encouraged me to do the next item on the list which would prove to be invaluable!
2. Love Thy Doctor. I had a doctor I had kind of fallen into going to for my yearly checkups so when I got pregnant I figured I’d continue to go to him and just get my doula and all would be well. Well, he (or his staff) ended up losing our gender test results and he handled it so poorly that I was FURIOUS (see: fierce description above). Patti had already spoken to me about the importance of LOVING your doctor and when this happened I saw it as the perfect opportunity to switch. I ended up going to Dr. Karla Iacampo, an angel among doctors, who took the time and care with us at each appointment to not only do what was necessary but to also check in with us, listen not just speak, and make sure our minds were at ease each time we left. She was also FUN which was great to have when pushing a baby out of your you know what. She even showed me my placenta at the birth, though kind of gross in the moment it was SUPER cool in hindsight! Having a doctor you trust and enjoy immediately puts your mind at ease because you don’t have to worry that they’ll change the game plan without you being a part of the conversation.
3. Hypnobirthing. There are many ways to prepare for birth. I ended up doing hypnobirthing with a track made for me by one of my favorite people, Heather Hayward. She created it specifically tailored to me and what I hoped to experience. I listened to the track 3 times a week from the 2nd half of my 2nd trimester until the week of his birth. Did everything go exactly as I had envisioned? No. Did a huge chunk of it? Yes. Most importantly though it made me feel at ease in the moment because I had done the work to get me there. She can do custom tracks for anyone but even taking the time to visualize how you want your birth to go (and to feel the feelings you want to experience) is worth it. Athletes do it to prepare for games and this is one of the biggest games of your life!!

*At the end of the day, we all have a different experience and what works for one person might not work for another so whether it’s this list or a group of other stuff you do to prepare just be sure to take the time to set yourself up for success. You obviously cannot control everything but you want to feel safe and supported in your birth. It’s an experience you can’t describe to someone who hasn’t gone through it and once you have it’s kind of an unspoken “oh I get it” between you and other mothers. Know your game plan, be flexible and just remember at the end of all this you get one cute bundle of love and it’s all worth it.