Social Anxiety as a New Mom

How many times must I say it. “You’re enough.” This is what I’d have to remind myself daily. Having a baby left me a bit removed. Let me explain.

I was busier than I’d ever been. Taking care of a new child is all consuming not only physically but mentally. Every hour, every second for that matter, was devoted to the care of this being and their lies the issue. EVERY ounce of me was dedicated to him and I was nowhere to be found. This new woman had emerged but she hadn’t had much time yet to figure out how she got incorporated into real life yet. I’d go out and people would have conversations about their days and the time would come for them to ask me a question about mine and I’d go into a panic. No one wants to hear about the color of my baby’s poop or how many times I got up last night. Usually in a situation like this I’d just ask a bunch of questions and learn about the other person. I generally hate talking about myself anyway but because I had barely slept my brain was so fried that i’d lose conversational threads and couldn’t even think of what question to ask next. This had me in full blown social anxiety. I wanted to go do things but didn’t want to hang out with anyone who wouldn’t quite get it. That meant meeting new people would send me into a tizzy. I hated it.

Honestly, I’d love to say that I had some huge solution but the truth is I didn’t. The best I could do was remind myself that this was temporary and eventually I’d have a bit of time to feel like myself again. I sought out hanging out with other moms who also only could talk about poop and lack of sleep. When I’d hang out with people and I’d feel that anxiety come up I chose to be honest and that helped. I’d confess to how boring I felt, how out of touch and wish I had more to say and that helped. Most people got it and helped fill the conversational void.

Now, a year later, I feel like myself again plus he’s old enough that even if he is all I talk about he’s a bit more interesting so that helps.

Did you have social anxiety when you first became a mom? How did you handle it?